Friday, February 8, 2013

Zeus McMooney: Schism

((To the one person who still comments on my chapters, I love you. Everyone else, I love you too. *evil laugh*...and I promise not to talk to myself anymore...buuuuut now you know what B-J stands for...but not where it came from...I felt like spouting nonsense, but I failed. This opening makes too much sense. Not like elephant and banana toast.))

Zeus was surviving in the Sanctuary on secretive methods and pure sneakiness. Naturally they would not approve his plans, but he had contact with a lot of fellow vampires and wasn't afraid to sacrifice a few of his own kind for personal gain. Currently, he was leaning against a wall in the Sanctuary, waiting for the chaos about to happen. He was well aware that his proposal had somehow found its way onto the desk of the Grand Mage. When he was captured, Zeus thought he would be able to sneak the file out, but no. The office was locked.

Someone was next to him. "McMooney?" He sounded pretty pissed off. McMooney opened one eye and internally wished he was dead, or that the person next to him was dead, because technically McMooney already was dead.
"Grand Mage."
"Would you like to explain this?"
"It is a proposal. I was hoping, with your consent of course, to have the go-ahead for it and-"
"Never in a million years."
"It could easily take care of a huge problem and-"
"Kill a lot of innocents in the process. If just one of them got away from the castle while in that form-"
"Put up a shield against them. Elementals all around the castle."
"Do you know how hard that would be? We have some of our own men infiltrating that castle still."
"Call them out."
"We can't without arousing suspicion."
"Nightwish betrayed us anyway. From what I've heard, Blaze has already been figured out. Basilisk is a traitor too, and Baritone's disappeared off the face of the Earth. Who else is there?"
"White and Vex."
"White nearly killed you from what I heard."
"I don't care. There will be no vampires!"
"They tortured you for a week, sir!" Zeus yelled as Ravel walked away. The response was to stop and burn the document.
"No vampires, McMooney."

About a week prior, in the holding cells

McMooney walked in and the bone-breaker kept his eyes down. The vampire was about to speak, but the other man beat him to it. "I don't care if I get arrested. In fact, I'd feel I deserve it...I just want it to be known that I had no idea who the girl was going after when she called me here, and when I found out I was halfway through fighting. At that point, it was just self-defence and instinct...I would not willingly or knowingly act against the Sanctuary..."
"Sure, okay." Zeus sat on the table and grinned. "I'm Detective McMooney, Mr, ahem, Dude. There's a high chance you'll have to spend the rest of your life in a cell for this."
"I deserve it."
"What about the young ladies who were with you? One of them could have killed the Grand Mage. Did she kill him, Awesome?"
"I...I don't know...Cay said she needed him alive..."
"Who is Cay, Awesome?"
"I...I don't know..."
"You're not helping yourself. And Cay and her friend will get away if you don't help us. Is Cay short for Cadence?"
He gave a stiff, eventual nod.
"I see. Cadence Nightwish, of the French Sanctuary?"
"No...Cadence Believe...she was the girl with the Gist...The Necromancer was called...Glorianna...Glorianna Pensive..."

Awesome didn't know why he was defending them. Lilia was his least favourite of his friends and Cadence was a stupid-ass ex who had brought this upon herself. Maybe he felt sorry for her, or maybe it was because he actually got on very well with Austin. McMooney didn't believe him anyway.
"And who do Cadence and, ahem, Glorianna work for?"
"They told me they worked for the...Norwegian Sanctuary..."
"Norwegian Sanctuary?"
"Yeah, you know, the one in Norway?"
"Riiight..." McMooney edged closer and Sam leaned away, glaring suspiciously. "I don't believe you, Awesome. I think you're trying to protect Miss Nightwish, which will only make things a lot worse for you."
"I don't care. Cadence Believe. Don't believe me, I have her on my contacts under Believe."
"Can I see your phone?"
Awesome dipped his hand into his pockets and swore, then moved to check all his other pockets and swore a few more times. "No. I don't have it on me. I think Aleron might have it..."
"I don't know Aleron, Awesome."
"Try the Midnight Hotel."
McMooney sighed and walked round so that he was beside Awesome. "I have no jurisdiction in the Midnight Hotel."
"Oh Well."

McMooney savoured the scream when he bit into the man's neck. Not as much as he savoured the blood. The blood was always the best bit. Licking his lips clean, McMooney moved away, waiting for Dude to stop struggling against the bonds on the chair. Knowing his discipline, Zeus had taken no chances.

Present Day

He knocked on the heavy door and stepped back slightly. McMooney had been sure to come early morning when there was no chance of him changing and killing the people here before he was done. Not unless it was necessary. It would get in the way of his cause.

He looked a lot like Advantageous, he realised as his brother answered the door. He was taller, thinner, older and had a shaved face though. They wore similar glasses, though. Twist looked up at his brother's grinning face and glared. Another vampire was behind Zeus. Another one Twist didn't recognise. "Did you get my text, Addy?"
"I did."
"Well you didn't text me back."
Twist was reminded of that Umbridge piss-take from that Starkid thing his daughter showed him. He said nothing and glared.
"Addy? Can I talk to an Erin Motionless?"
Twist gestured to the other vampire.
"Ebenezer Snooke. Ignore him." Reluctantly, Twist let McMooney and Snooke in. He led them down to Motionless' dungeon. Motionless pulled a face when he saw McMooney. "We've come to ask that Erin joins Ebenezer and I for our attack on Mevolent."
Erin forced a smile onto his face. He was upside down against the wall again. "Hello Ebenezer. Long time, no see."
Snooke grunted and turned away. Motionless continued. "Mr Snooke here could challenge you for your silent streak, Mr Twist. In fact, I've never heard Mr Snooke speak, ever."
Twist nodded slowly. McMooney smiled. It was a toothy smile that reminded Twist of a crocodile.
"Brother, dearest. Can Ebenezer and I have a chat with Erin alone?"
Twist shrugged and closed the three of them into the dungeon, staying close to listen in for any signs of a disturbance and to hear what was being said, grinning as McMooney struggled to get a word in edgewise.


Esra was in trouble. He had done a good few bad things now. He had helped that Lilia girl, Vex was missing and he was getting the blame for that, he was being pushed for progress in the Grotesquery, someone was teasing him for being fat too, but he wasn't even that fat, just a little overweight. He was healthier than some of the really skinny people there by far. Also Arachne was blaming him completely for the kidnapping of her child, no matter how many times he insisted it was Lilia and she had threatened him.

He walked the halls, looking to his feet as Mevolent approached from the opposite direction. As they passed, he hadn't meant to speak, but it slipped out. "Hi, Cecil."
Mevolent stopped and Esra froze, biting on his knuckles, horrified he could ever dare let that slip out. "What did you just say?"
He took a deep breath. "I said...'Hi, Cecil'"
"And where did you get that name from?"
"I...I heard dad use it...and he told me it was your first name..."
"I see..."
"Don't hurt lord..." He heard Mevolent turn. "Sorry!" He ran, not wanting to know how Mevolent would react.

((Man, Cecil is the evillest name ever. Cecil Mevolent, Sideshow Cecil, the nice old man down the road who wants to blow the world up called Cecil, Cecil the porn star, Cecil the Hun from the fourth of a book series I'm writing...damn Marty made me write porn in...and I keep typing pron by accident...which is apparently the lesbian sister of porn...OH GAWD, LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME TYPE, MARTY, EVEN THOUGH YOU WON'T SEE THIS!!! STOP TALKING PERVY THINGS AND STOP MAKING ME DO THINGS!!!

The name Ebenezer Snooke is in cameo thanks to my friend Marty...and Cecil fits Mevolent so much...))


  1. Is the whited-out bit on purpose, or do you want me to try to fix it?

    I have methods... [Goes to use methods to read whited-out part]

    1. Ugh, the site just did an evil on me. Please feel free to fix it.

  2. Ok, I'm fiddling with it... Currently readable, but I'm going to see if I can make it all the same.

  3. This would be the part where I admit I have no idea what I'm doing...

    1. Good luck. I'm never copy-pasting from previous posts again, that's what caused this...and I never put elephant and banana toast in the main body of the story! I knew I'd forgotten something!

      Thanks for the help ^^

    2. No problem! I like fiddling around with fonty-stuff... I think it might have actually worked, even!

      [Wonders whether to try and volunteer to fix Death's chapter as well, or not, since I don't know what that I did worked.]

    3. Oh, and nice chapter!
      Cecil definitely suits Mevolent perfectly!

      No vampires.

      Actually, even if I don't really like them, they'd probably make an exciting chapter.


      Not that Fabi! The other one! The Norwegian!

    4. I have been cracking up all night...that comment made sure I went to bed laughing XD

    5. [Bows]

      Why thank you. Amusing is my specialty, my other specialty. The Norwegian one. [Nods]


      It's less funny the second time.

    6. Still worth a chuckle though :P

      Not that chuckle...the Norwegian one.


      Is it dead yet?

    7. I think so. Let's bury the body.

      Not that body! The Norwegian one!

    8. I actually died laughing at that one though...IT'S ALIVE!!! GET THE DEFIBRILLATOR!!! NOT THAT ONE, THE NORWEGIAN ONE!

    9. It's a zombie, then? Presumably one of Norwegian origin?

    10. Maybe it's one of Scapegrace's lot.

      Nah, not him. That one. The Norwegian-looking bloke. See him?

    11. Not Scapegrace's lot, the Norwegian one.

      [Hands B-J an electrolaser]

      Kill it!

      No, not that one! The Norwegian one!

    12. Is this the right electrolaser? Shouldn't I be using that Norwegian one?

    13. Probably...

      [Hands over Norwegian electrolaser]

      Try hitting that tree first, make sure you've got the hang of it.

      No, not that tree! The Norwegian one!

      [Hums the tune of 'Norwegian Wood']

    14. Okay, done. So where's the zombie? Did it go into a house or something?

      No, not that house, that one. No, the Norwegian one!

    15. I think it's under the chair.

      No, not that chair! The Norwegian one!

    16. I can only see dust under this chair...not that kind of dust, the Norwegian kind.

    17. Where, behind the dust bunny? No, it is the dust bunny! (That's me, semi-quoting Monty Python)

      Not that Monty Python! The Norwegian one!


      I can only see dust. *gets up and bumps her head. Not this head, the crazy one, the Norwegian one*

  4. That happened to my post... That is why it is red

    1. I think Blogspot's been taking its anger out on us...

    2. Well, it's readable to most people, so you can just leave it that way, but I might maybe be able to fix it if you'd prefer. It worked for this...

      Then again, I have no idea what I'm doing. Leaving it as is would probably be wise.

  5. Anyone can take the warning off on mine... It won't let me....

    1. Ah! Fabi is already doing something about it... Doesn't matter!

  6. Erin is my given name except i'm a girl

    Hehhe Cecil Mevolent thanks Derek

    1. I like the name Erin. Erin is a cool name. The meaning is all Irish and Hibernia...

      ...My given name is Rhiannon...I've met a surprisingly large number of people with the same name...and you still can't get those little keyrings with that name on unless you go to Wales or something...

      Cecil just works with everything...

  7. Ooooooo Esra is in biiiiiiiiiig trouble now!!!!!!!
    And that's not good at all!!!