Saturday, February 23, 2013

Raeza: Caught up in circles, confusion, it's nothing new

      The bold is the past
      The italic is the present
     This chapter is odd in either, and kinda short, sorry.

Raeza huddled next to the boulder that had almost hit her, holding the piece of picnic 
     Raeza huddled next to the door, hands by the frame, eyes closed in concentration.
blanket above her, as if it could somehow protect her from the boulders falling all around.
She poured her magic into the blanket scrap, using it as something resembling a shield, as if it
She poured her magic into the layers of wood metal and stone, using the door as a shield, as if it
could possibly protect her from the boulders falling all around. She felt the energy draining out 
would be enough to protect her from the impending explosion. She felt the energy draining out of her, her, surprised that she even had any left to lose. Then, she didn't. She slumped against the rock.
surprised that she even had any energy left to lose. Then, she didn't. She slumped against the door.

     Kelley Throckmorton became nothing right before the boulder hit. Regret swept over him 
     Kelley became nothing and left straight through the wall. He'd actually done what Mevolent had before he forced it away. He had indeed tried to pull Faeris to her death, Serpine hadn't been 
asked. Regret swept over him before he forced it away. He'd done as he'd been ordered to do. Fine. lying to her. Fine. Maybe they weren't dead, maybe they'd gotten lucky, maybe... 
Maybe Raeza would somehow survive, maybe she could escape again, maybe...
     His hopes were dashed when he saw the bodies. Maeve's skull was dented inwards, but 
      His hopes were dashed when he saw Maeve's body, dead for good this time. She was flat on her 
there was no blood. The wound had been inflicted after she was already dead. Raeza wasn't as
face, if not from the stabbing, she was dead from suffocating in the ground. Raeza wasnt dead yet, but 
visibly injured, but there was a massive slab of granite on top of her and she wasn't moving. 
she would be. He'd sawed through the wired of her computer and blocked the door. She was doomed.
He wiped the tear off his face and went to rejoin Mevolent's army.
He turned away, shedding a slight tear, but he'd made his choice. Mevolent.

Random twist I can't quite fit into my storyline, so I'm dumping it here.
A year before the second Mevolent war:

     Maeve woke in a white, blank room to find a girl with long blonde hair standing over her.
     "Hi, Maeve! Welcome back to the land of the living! I'm Ember, nice to meet you!" Ember's hands glowed, and Maeve felt the strength rushing back into her, strength she hadn't felt missing. She hadn't felt anything, really. Had she... She had been dead.
     "Wha-Where ami I? Who..."
     "Like I said, I'm Ember. I'm part of a...revolution. We think you might be useful in the approaching battle, daughter of Aevil.

     Just logged on as BC! OMG!!!! We hit 10000 pageviews today!!!!! And 250 posts!!!!!! [Celebrates with balloons]


  1. ... it's kinda confusing but it the past and present fit together seamlessly!!!

    I read it together then I read the past, then the present!

    And how they fit together! O.O IT WAS AMAZING!!!!

    I'm not kidding although it was slightly confusing a first it was SOOO well put together!!!!

  2. Thanks Mistical! I actually started with two seperate stories, one past, one present, but then I looked at them and I was like 'Hey, these are really similar...'

    Thanks for the input. Do you have any suggestions for how to make it less confusing? Any advice on that is appreciated, from whoever is willing to contribute it.

    Thanks again,