Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Fabigail: A Short Story for Mara

Well, it's for all of you, really, but Mara gave me the idea. Thanks, Mara! XD Also thanks to Lav (and Star) for the Henry Ruby.    

Just noticed...There are a bunch of aliases in this...let me know if it's too confusing, and I can edit it.

     May, 2011. That is to say, before Mevolent woke up, but not too too long ago. It was back before Eff and Fabi were fired from the Sanctuary (coincidentally by Halbert Cyanide himself, who was fired about a week later by somebody who actually knew what she was doing).

     "Are you hear for the tour, miss?" the portly gentleman inquired, raising an eyebrow at her very un-posh appearance.
     The girl nodded. "Indeed I am." Her face was covered by a pair of dark sunglasses, and her ridiculously curly blondish-brownish hair hung loose, covering the scar that she'd gotten the other day from annoying the wrong elemental.
     The museum official looked at her suspiciously, his eyebrow would be floating a foot above his head if it could. This unaccompanied minor, in her bright violet hoodie and neon green shoes did not appear to be the kind of high-class person who ought to be on this high-class, behind-the-scenes, super-exclusive exhibition. 
     She sighed. "My name is on the list, Abigail Mackey." She pulled out a high school student ID.
     Hampton Academy for the Gifted in Classical Arts looked and sounded posh. It was fictional, of course, but he didn't need to know that.
     The museum official looked at the ID, then back to the girl. Alright then. She had paid her fee, after all. Hopefully she'd go home and tell her rich parents how cool the tour was. He tried to think of billionaires, or even millionaires named Mackey, but none came to mind. Then again, he wasn't rich himself. Maybe the Mackeys were just super-posh, super-exclusive people.
   The rest of the tour group showed up in brown, black and grey suits or fancy dresses looking like posh people ought to look. The portly gentleman nodded in approval and lead them towards the elevator.

     She had been Ophelia Double then, back when her first taken name hadn't yet acquired it's infamous reputation. Even then though, she'd been good. Her overcoat didn't have a speck of dust, her high heels were shiny and her Barbie blonde hair was curled in the latest fashion. Her sunglasses were sleek and glamorous, her make-up flawless, and as usual, it was all an illusion.
     She'd noted immediately the presence of the girl calling herself Abigail Mackey, but decided that she wasn't the culprit. Too conspicuous. The man in the brown suit didn't think Abigail (aka Fabi) was a threat, either.

     The elevator was big, for an elevator, but it still made Fabi uncomfortable. She fidgeted. Any place where she couldn't do a single piqué turn or even a dégagé! She remembered she was supposed to be posh and stopped fidgeting. Elevators are metal, she told herself, metal is safe.
     The basement of the museum was very bland-looking. The walls were white, their only distinguishing feature a bulletin board full of notes in too scribbly writing for Fabi to read.The doors were all labeled with names of curators, assistant curators, scientists and other various jobs. The museum official led them to a door marked 'showcase' and ushered them all inside. This was it, the infamous Henry Ruby.
     Fabi thought the whole story about curses, Anne Boleyn and her dying breath was rather cliché, but the idea had root somewhere. The ruby part was just a ruby, albeit an extremely large one. It was the tiny spark inside that was magical. Some of the more gossipy mages claimed that it held a soul, but Fabi believed that about as much as the whole Anne-Boleyn-Dying-Curse thing. If she was being executed, and had the power to curse in the first place, why would she bother cursing a jewel? She'd have better things to curse, like maybe Henry VIII himself.

     The man in the brown suit didn't believe that silly fable either. The one he believed accounted for the magical community and involved Master John Dee, a monkey, an amulet and a very terrified housekeeper. Despite its lack of royalty (though Queen Elizabeth I did make a brief appearance), it was enough to make him want the jewel, and want it badly enough to point a machine gun at a dozen or so billionaires. So that is what he did.

     Eff was completely caught off guard. She'd considered the fidgety man in burgundy and the lady in the blue dress the most likely suspects. The nickname/alias K.K.Dodge could have belonged to anyone. And now, Mr. Dodge was pointing a gun at her. Worse, he didn't seem to react when she made the gun look like a vase of pansies. 
     "I can see through that, you know," he said. "Don't you know that that's my ability? I can't be fooled. I knew you were the one they sent from the moment I saw you." 
     Eff let the illusion drop. "So, you're K.K. Dodge." 
     "So, you're Ophelia Double."
     "No, I'm--"
     "Don't lie to me, little one. I know lies when I hear them. Nothing can fool me."
     The museum official attempted a friendly smile, but it came out looking like Violet Beauregarde from the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory movie, the one who chewed the bad piece of gum and blew up like a balloon.
     "Sir...if you would just, erm...put down the gun, I'm sure we can discuss--"
      Mr. Dodge swiveled the gun towards him, and he began to sweat. A rather plump lady in pink fainted into the arms of a man with a mustache and a tuxedo. The rest of the ladies fanned themselves nervously.
     "There is NOTHING to discuss. I am taking the Henry Ruby, and I am taking it now."

     "Is this a roleplay? I love roleplays!" Fabi asked, trying to sound idiotic (it wasn't hard), while manipulating the metal...
     The well dressed mortals distanced themselves as far as possible from the weirdo who was going to get herself killed. The museum official shook his head, unable to speak from fear.
     "Then why is he using a broken gun?" Fabi asked, mentally breaking the gun's loading mechanism.
     "Don't think you can fool me with that old trick," the gunman scoffed, not even bothering to check. "What would someone like you know about guns, anyway?"
     "How do you think my dad made his millions?" Fabi asked, it was the first thing that came to mind. 
     The man didn't hesitate. He pulled the trigger, making the totally useless posh-people scatter like a handful of dirt. Actually, there probably wasn't any dirt on them, even after their harrowing experience.

    Eff lunged, pulling back on the man's hand, but it was unnecessary. The gun made a loud squawking sound, then shattered into sharp bits that swarmed around Mr. Dodge angrily stinging him like crazy little metal shrapnel insects, before falling to the floor. The bright, unposh-looking girl sagged slightly, trying to hide how much the gun-destroying stunt had taken out of her.
     Mr. Dodge shook off Eff and lunged at "Abigail," knocking her to the ground. He proceeded to punch her in the face, then made a grab for the Henry Ruby. 
     K.K. Dodge was not a man to give up easily. Even without a gun, and the mortal cops most likely on their way (the posh people had various technological devices), he could still escape with the ruby. That is, if there hadn't been a pineapple sitting exactly where the ruby had just been.
     "NOOOOOO-Seriously? Don't think you can fool me, Miss Double." He reached for the jewel again.

     The museum official shook slightly less after the gun was put out of use. He jumped between the thief and the historical Henry Ruby. Then he, too looked back and saw that the ruby was a pineapple. He reached out for it, and there was a loud 'pop.' He jumped backwards too late, dissolving into the air, his terrified shriek lingering a moment longer than he did before fading away.

     [A Moment of silence]

     Authors Note: In actuality, there was not a moment of silence. Fabi may have been ever-so-slightly screaming. Well...'Slightly' may be downplaying it...rather a lot [Grimaces] ...At any rate, Eff had it handled. Well, sort of...
     K.K. Dodge (short for King Killer, original, huh?) pulled out a black magic-bound pouch and slowly approached the Henry Ruby. Eff pulled herself off the floor and charged. 
     A bit belatedly, she realized that she didn't have a weapon. Tough. She yanked off her extremely heavy, extremely posh chain of pearls and whacked him with it. He didn't seem to like it. Then, the pearls hit the ruby and disintegrated. Wait...were the pearls screaming? No, that was "Abigail" still. 

     The original plan the Sanctuary had intended was for Fabi to be the diversion while Eff got things done. Except, since Halbert Cyanide was in charge, nobody had been informed of the entire plan. Eff had thought she was on a solo mission, Fabi thought she was supposed to distract and delay until a complete team of cleavers arrived. Cyanide didn't particularly trust either of them. It was mutual.
     Now it appeared that Eff was doing the distracting and delaying, and there were no cleavers in sight, so Fabi stopped screaming and attacked.

     The gold ingot hit K.K. in the back of the head, and he crumpled to the floor. Eff nodded in approval. This "Abigail" girl was actually pretty good. Arresting him was easy after that. Eff handcuffed him, made him look like a live snake, made herself look like a security guard and took it/him outside, leaving the girl (actually another Sanctuary agent--Never trust Halbert Cyanide to tell you anything) to deal with the cursed Henry Ruby.

     She put her hand inside the black bag, like she had seen Mr. Dodge do, and gingerly reached out a finger towards the gem that had caused so many deaths...It shattered into a million tiny pieces. That worked out rather nicely, Fabi thought. We can blame it on the snake.

     "Not, bad, Fabigail." Effie stood in the doorway and nodded in approval.


  1. Not really my best, but I worked too hard on it to delete it.

    Plus it's got funny bits! XD

  2. ... How did I...?

    I mean... *scratches head* Did I, like, say something...? To give you the idea...?

    Hmm. Intriging.


    This. Was. Awesome. It was like... Like a James Bond movie! And I LOVE James Bond. *nods* EFF WAS FREAKING AMAZAYN. She stopped 'Abigail' from being shot, basically. GO EFFIE! GO FABIGAIL!

    *shuts up* *eats popcorn*

    1. Thanks, Mara!

      And it came from your comment about 'Fabigail' being Effie's catchphrase.

  3. WOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


    I actually have two pet snakes... One could eat me if it tried... It is MASSIVE!!!! Like, double my size!!!! And I'm 163cm!!

    The other one is tiny! More of a fashion statement than anything... ie. She wraps herself around your wrist like an awesome bracelet!!!!

    1. I LOVE SNAKES! I think I get it from my friend R.! Hmm... I haven't annoyed her into reading SP yet! I better fix that!

      I don't have any pets...except Henry!

      Your snakes sound so cool!