Sunday, February 17, 2013

September Silver: A Blissful Potato

"Uh, Mara," Ember said, looking back at her. "This is all very good and fine, but we kind of need to get out of here. Now."

Mara was still crying a little bit. "Can I just stay here a little bit?"

Liberty smiled gently. "Of course you can. I wanted to make a second batch of muffins anyways, so take as much time as you want. I'm not hungry."

"Liberty!" Ember yelled. "She's my friend, all right? Now can we just get out of here?"

"Jesus. All right, fine. I'll go with you people."


So the cell was opened, and all three of them started walking around.

"We'd better go back to Star," Ember nodded. "She could be better now, and if she's not then I can heal her."

Mara simply whimpered.

As they were walking out, Liberty flashing passes and making up excuses whenever she saw one of Mevolent's men, Ember thought out loud, "I wonder who Mevolent got to replace me as his doctor?"

"Nye," Liberty said while she showed somebody an official looking document.

Ember stopped in her tracks. "N-NYE?" she choked out.

Liberty nodded as she stuffed the document in her mouth and walked on.

Ember paused, and then she started screaming with glee.


Everyone immediately stopped what they were doing and looked at her. She didn't care, and she started running around like a headless chicken and flapping her arms everywhere.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?" Nye yelled, coming out of its room.

Ember made some kind of inhuman noise and ran towards it. "IT'S YOU!" she laughed, hugging it.

It paused, and then it smiled. "Ah, you must be September."

"You know who I am?" she breathed, stepping back.

"I have strict orders to kill you on sight," Nye said, "and I think I'll do that."

"You," she said, "are the person who made we want to become a doctor. All those experiments you did  in the first war, they... they just blew my mind. You inspired me to do my own experiments. When I was little, you inspired me to kill my classmates by dunking them in acid. You made me who I am today and I'd love you except that you're technically not a human. Will you do me the honour of letting me ask you something?"

"What?" it growled.

"How can you resurrect somebody whose body has been lost?"

It frowned. "Well, I'm not a Healer exactly, so I don't know for sure. But I think you have to give it a host body or object first, and then find their spirit, and then pour it into the host body or object or whatever. Can I kill you now?"

She giggled, and then her face turned hard. "No."

She grabbed her syringe, stabbed him in the arm with it, and yelled to Mara, "TELEPORT!"

Mara teleported into a shopping centre.

Ember smiled at a man, and then she killed him. "This can be Bliss's host body," she said.

"Wait," Liberty  said. "We're resurrecting Bliss?"

"Yep. Now I need to find his soul, so be quiet."

Ember closed her eyes, and then she levitated into the air. After a minute, she said, "All right, Elizabeth, I found him. I need you to put the man right in front of me."

Elizabeth had run off and was bowling using bottles of milk and a loaf of bread.

Ember got ready, and then she fired a beam of light straight in front of her where the man should've been.

Instead, that was where the bread rolled.

And so ten seconds later, the bread said, "Wait. Why am I alive, and why am I...a piece of... bread?"

Ember opened her eyes, and then she groaned. "Oh my god, Elizabeth, what the freaking hell..."

"Can I eat him?" Liberty asked.

Mara was quietly sitting in the corner, so Ember refrained from killing Liberty right there and then.

"No," she said slowly. "This is a human being. And I can't try to relocate the soul in case it goes missing. That's the trouble with resurrecting what you kill yourself."

Liberty shrugged and did a cartwheel.

"Mara," Ember said, "Are you ready to go now? We have to go see Star."

Mara started crying a little bit, so Ember crouched beside her.

"Mara," she said, "It doesn't matter about Fletcher. I don't know what he did to you, but I'm sure he deserved it. I can bring him back to life whenever you want, so please don't fret."

Mara whimpered but teleported back to Star. She was hiding in a locked room, on the floor.

"Star," Ember said quickly, dropping to her knees. "Are you okay? Did somebody try to fight you?"

Star nodded. "I think I'm better now, by the way--the concussion is gone. Fabi is over there in the corner."

Ember walked over to Fabi and started healing her. Her face had grown pale, and her hands glowed less. "Are they still out there?"

Star paused, then nodded again. "I think so. Unless they've left during the last five minutes."

"Fabi, how are you feeling?" Ember asked the now conscious Fabi.

"I feel like I've fallen down over and over again," Fabi sighed, and Star winced. "You?"

"I'm running out of energy," Ember sighed. "If I have to heal any more today, I'll probably die. Literally die."

"Have you forgotten that I'm standing here?" Liberty groaned. Her body was slightly transparent, and her voice was unusually soft.

Fabi looked over at her, horrified. "Oh god, not you again."

"Guys," Ember said. "I need to kill somebody now, or I'll die."

Everyone stood in silence.

"Fine," Ember groaned. "Elizabeth, you're going to be dead for an hour or something, and then I'll resurrect you again."

Liberty's eyes widened. "No, wait, I--"

And then she slumped to the floor, and she was dead.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?" yelled the potato.

Star looked at the potato. Fabi looked at the potato. Mara looked at the floor. Liberty was dead, so she wasn't really looking at anything.

"Oh, by the way, this is Mr. Bliss," Ember said. "I tried to bring him back to life, but... you know, it's complicated."

Star looked at Ember. Fabi looked at Ember. Mara looked at her feet. An octopus danced the cha-cha in  India.

"Basically, Mr. Bliss, you were dead because a Faceless One killed you. You were dead. You stayed dead. I resurrected you. You have the body of a piece of bread. I'm keeping you alive the same way I keep Elizabeth alive, except she's dead. But you're not dead. Do you understand me?"

If Bliss had eyes, he would have looked at her. Unfortunately, he didn't have eyes, so he settled for rolling across the floor and slamming into the wall.

Okay... This was... really... really... weird. Yeah. Can somebody continue with this? Can this be like a part one or something?


  1. An octopus danced the cha-cha...? XD

    I laughed so hard while reading! :)

    Uhm, I was going to do a bit of Harralie so maybe Mara'll teleport away? :P

    Great chapter! :)

  2. Ok then. Next time you need to kill someone, kill Faeris! She deserves it! Also, I have plans for her that involve her death. [Grins] Actually, I have plans for her alive, too. Obviously I can't do all of them.

    Or give her to Mara after she insults 1D! [Cackles]

  3. YES. YES. MWAHAHAHAHAHA. Mara go all sass on Faeris' - *bleeeeep*! C:

    *grabs chainsaw* *grins*

  4. This amused me greatly. Nice chapter :P

  5. Yay, glad you guys liked it :) So who's doing the next chapter?

  6. MMr. Bliss, the strongest man in the world, is a potato? Legendary Mr. Bliss, he who died by a Faceless One, is a potato? Mr. Bliss, the man who could make the Grotesquery falter, is a potato? Mr. Bliss, China Sorrows's brother, is a potato? Mr. Bliss, the guy who requited Tanith Low, is a potato? Mr. Bliss, the idiot who betrayed Nefarian Serpine, is a potato? Mr. Bliss, Skulduggery's friend, is a POTATO?!
    *Can not seem to get over the fact that Mr. Bliss is a potato*

    1. I don't think you can either XD

      I don't know why, a potato just seemed perfect for the occasion. It was supposed to be a loaf of bread, but my mind kind of died. Did you notice that first it was bread, and then it was a potato?

      That was an accident, but a potato he shall remain.

    2. Ah. I thought EmberTC was just stubbornly insisting he was bread, even though he was a potato. [Rolls eyes at self and imagination]