Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Fabi: I talk too much...

     A/N I'm just putting 'Fabi' on this. It's simpler.You'll see what I mean. It isn't from Fabi's perspective, though.

      "What, the observatory on the hill? No, it's no longer for scientific use, it's empty, really. WHAT? We have to go there and help R-[Rustle, sound of facepalm] Okay, so it isn't empty. Let's go and save her before the place becomes nothing but rubble!"
     [A bunch of rustling that has been edited out of this recording, car door slam, car engine starts, after a few minutes loud bumping and the sound of the mic being jostled]
     "Will you please stop looking at me like that? Of course I'm driving like a bleeding maniac! You did say explosives, didn't you? Well then, it's only natural to push the speed limit. About ten. Well, this is a dirt road and all, it's going to have a lower speed limit, but nobody polices it or anything.
     [Indistinct screaming and yelling]
     "Look, just calm down. Nobody else is ever on the road at this hour, I've started up this way a lot, before losing my nerve. You can't expect me to stop at every gravel intersection and squint both ways to see if a car with no lights is there, maybe covered in mud to specifically hide from us?
     "If you don't want Raeza to die, shut up! Driving at this ridiculous speed takes concentration!"
     [Rustles and bumps of going way too fast on a low-maintenance road. Voices are silent for a minute or so]
     "I'm sorry I snapped. I'm a lot angrier of a person than I was when we were younger. No, don't apologize. You've done nothing wrong. I know you're trying to help and all, and if you were driving this fast when nobody's life was in danger, I'd be screaming my head off at you, too. It's just... I thought she was dead for the longest time, that Mevolent killed both her and Fae, but--I'm sorry, should I not have mentioned the name? Ok. Sorry. Anyway, I thought Raeza was dead, and I'd only just been told...that she wasn't, and doesn't know either, and I was just getting up my courage to go talk to her... Gosh, I hope I'm not too late."
    [SCREEEEEEEEEEEECH] [Car door slam] [Footsteps]
     "You coming or not? It's still...She's not dead ye---Oh."
     [Until now, the second voice has been pretty indistinct, probably because the main speaker wouldn't shut up, but you can hear him now. Maybe he's closer] "As you so wittingly elaborated about earlier, things have changed since we were young."
     "You can't... You woul--" [Gunshot] [Thud]

     [Moan] [Voice is too raspy...] "I talk too bleeding much... Can't believe I didn't...ugh..." [Rasp]
     [Retreating, unfaltering footsteps]

     [Silence] A short while later, more footsteps, then the car starts again and drives off.

     The explosion is audible even from this distance. A piece of shrapnel hits the microphone and breaks it.

     [End of recording]


  1. ...This...
    This was absolutely phenomenal... Wow... *stares in awe* It's like something out of a really fantastic movie. Just amazing. The way you set it up, so we only have half of the story, but just enough information to guess the other half, and we don't know for sure who the speakers are- absolutely fantastic. And your mix of comedy and the dark, foreboding atmosphere you create is amazing as well. Just- really, really great job with this. I can't wait to see what you come up with next!

    1. Thanks... I don't completely know who one of them is, either.

      At the beginning, I actually thought that X (if you don't know who it is already, I'm not telling you, you should be able to guess though) was taking the reader to go help. Then, erm, Y stuck his head in, complained about the speed, and it struck me that he wasn't actually heading to an emergency. It just went from there...

  2. That was really cool!!!!
    I liked it Alot!!!